I feel the need to remind myself why I blog (or, at least, why I should blog).  I'm feeling a little listy, so I'm going to this in bullet point format.

I have found, that living under circumstances of chronic traumatization, of sustained abuse, has made me a better critical thinker and has increased my ability to understand the needs, emotions and motives of other.  But this could be a mythos created by me to make sense of my disorder and pain.  Still, I think that those who suffer chronic traumatization as children, and thus during crucial brain development, experience a different development of mental capacity.  Forced to live in a mode of hypervigilance and to consider at all moments the thoughts and motives of those perpetrating the abuse, abused children learn a sort of “double consciousness,” WEB Dubois’ name for the state of mind possessed by oppressed groups:

As I struggle to find the sample set (representative trauma blogs) for my dissertation, I have been able to separate the bloggers into three categories based on their rhetorical strategies for dealing with trauma. One set of trauma bloggers discuss the intimate details of their traumas, clearly focusing on the internal struggles of PTSD.  The other set of bloggers seem to externalize their trauma by focusing on the political aspects of post traumatic stress disorder without revealing a large amount of personal information.

This may come as a surprise to some,  but I like deflecting attention away from myself.  At least, I like deflecting attention away from certain aspects of my self.

A lot of what I do deals with sadness--war, death, rape, abuse, violence of all kinds.  Some days it wears me down more than others.  Here are some blogs that have the seemingly contradictory yet simultaneous effect of breaking my heart and giving me hope:

• 'Imagine' A World of Peace, Understanding, Tolerance
• PTSD Combat: Winning the War Within
  
• Recall: An Involuntary Soldier's Story

and there are some forum posts that do the same:

After my original dissertation idea was determined to be unfeasible (by myself and my dissertation chair), I found myself struggling to find a topic that still fit the spirit of my work.  Ideally, I would use the dissertation to create a theoretical base for my future study into narrative and trauma.  This, however, is much easier said than done.  The truth is that I don't know how to write a theory without the use of real world applications.  I imagine this has something to do with the way that I value theory as praxis and vice-versa, and, while I am by no means rejecting that belief, it's making this dissertation thing kind of difficult.  So, I'm trying to determine how, given the resources readily available to me, I can make a significant contribution to the

The framework for understanding trauma that I am using in my dissertation defines trauma as the emotional/psychological impact to a person’s psyche as the result of an event, experience or set of experiences that overwhelm those individuals who experience it.